i'm afflicted, you're addicted...
i don't think i've ever been too tired or whatever to use punctuation, but there's a first for everything. well, maybe i haven't fully boycotted punctuation, but i doubt you'll see any capital letters in this post. not that it matters. the messages will still be quite clear, but when haven't they? please don't answer that.

i'm not deleting as in deleting my journal, when i said 'delete this in the morning' i meant 'delete the post.' i really do appreciate everyone's concern, though. i just slept from 12AM to 2:45PM. my back is fucking killing me and i don't even believe i can think straight after sleeping for 14 hours and 45 minutes. i think i'm overtired now, i suppose that's okay because i might wander around the town tonight and see if there are any concerts going on or maybe just anywhere i can go. i feel like staying out all night for some reason, i haven't a clue why. i am in maryland, there has to be something here. i could just take a bus to DC and get myself killed, that sounds like a novel idea as well. holy shit, i just capitalized 'dc.' okay, anyway...

foxx and ryan are together now? can't say i didn't see that coming from eighty three miles away. i'm happy for them, honestly. they're super people and they deserve each other. on another note, bif is gone. i suppose she's gone back to vancouver to find herself, but really, this whole 'cutting-off-communication' thing is a bitch. i miss her already, i really do. she's been like a big sister to me for... well, ever. i've always looked up to her and respected her, not to mention asked her for advice. i'd sure use some advice right now, let me tell you. lacey left me messages last night with brand new lyrics and told me that i could always talk to her, i definitely think i'll do that. i know that i am, in fact, making a huge deal out of nothing, but when your boyfriend that you're a little bit insane over says that he's going to delete his journal and probably break up with you, it doesn't exactly make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

on another, happier note; i love the wakefield guys. they're hilarious people and slip n' slide is one of the best things ever created. now i know why foxx loves it here so much.

and i'll leave you with some lyrics that foxx and leah wrote. i love the song and i'm so accustomed to singing it that i've just now realized that i can really relate.



Here I am, losing gravity
2000 miles from the way it's supposed to be
I really feel like I'm selling my soul here
Forget myself, I can't face my own face (in the mirror)

If I gave you fire, why would you turn it back on me?
Will I burn or will I melt? Try and we'll see.
If they can find a trail of gasoline...
If you're still not convinced we could meet over coffee
And tell it like it was while you sit distractedly
And I will fade into the background,
Out of touch with reality.

Here I am, losing gravity
2000 miles from the way it's supposed to be
I really feel like I'm selling my soul here
Forget myself, I can't face my own face (in the mirror)

I never asked for this, as much as I came to receive
If you stop dragging me under, I'll feel compelled to leave
You are the fuel, I am your matchstick
And I'm combusting ever so gently

Here I am, losing gravity
2000 miles from the way it's supposed to be
I really feel like I'm selling my soul here
Forget myself, I can't face my own face (in the mirror)

I'm afraid of myself
And I'm coming apart at the seams
It's better when I lie
So I'll keep smiling while I'm kissing this world goodbye...

I really feel like I'm selling my soul here,
Forget myself, I can't face my own face (in the mirror)

Here I am, losing gravity
2000 miles from the way it's supposed to be
I really feel like I'm selling my soul here
Forget myself, I can't face my own face (in the mirror)